


No Matter How I Look

by QueenUsagi



Category: Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon | Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon
Genre: Gen, Gender Dysphoria, Gender Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-12
Updated: 2014-08-12
Packaged: 2018-02-12 19:57:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2122725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenUsagi/pseuds/QueenUsagi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm a girl." Yaten says the sentence with ease, no uncertainty in her voice. "I am still a girl, no matter how I look."</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Matter How I Look

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I've written a fic and tried to write about gender dysphoria. I think that the Starlights would have different reactions to their new bodies, and it would have a direct impact on how they see their gender.

* * *

"I'm a girl."

Yaten says the sentence with ease, no uncertainty in her voice. She stands in front of the mirror, her shirt lying on the bed, and looks at her naked chest. It's flat, which is something new for her.

"I am still a girl, no matter how I look."

"Oi, Yaten! We have to be at the radio station in 20 minutes!" Seiya shouts from outside Yaten's door. She tries to open the door but it's locked. "Hey!"

"Don't try to come into my room!" Yaten yells, and pulls her shirt back on. "I'll be ready to leave in five minutes, jeez!"

She glances back at the mirror, and whispers, "Girl." Then she leaves.

* * *

"I'm a girl."

There's less certainty in Yaten's voice. She stands in front of the mirror, only in her light blue colored boxers.

"I'm still," She rests her hands on her chest, and slowly runs it down her stomach, "A girl."

It feels strange, not having body parts she's had for years. Her stomach was always a bit hard, thanks to how hard she worked as Sailor Star Healer, but it seems like the muscles on her stomach are a bit more defined.

She slides her hands around her waist, feeling how her sides aren't inverted slightly. Her curves are gone.

Yaten grabs the air where her breasts would be, and closes her eyes tightly.

"I'm a girl." She says quietly, before she turns off the lights in her room.

* * *

"-Hit Boy Band Three Lights!" "These three boys are stealing our hearts with-" "Young men named Seiya Kou, Yaten Kou, and Taiki Kou-" "-boys!"

Yaten turns off the radio, before leaving the living room. She enters her bedroom and locks the door, before stripping out of her clothes.

"I'm a girl."

Yaten stands in front of the mirror, chewing on her lip. There's tension in her middle, and she sounds like she recently lost her voice.

"Girl."

She looks at her body in the mirror with a critical eye, looking at how her body hair is growing much faster, and in places that weren't before. Her underarms have more than a normal fuzz, and her pubic hair looks like it's begging for a razor.

"I'm a…"

Yaten grabs a hold of her penis, tensing up slightly. The only time she's ever touched it was to take a shower.

"Girl…"

She looks at her penis and feels her heart beat faster. It's ugly, it's gross, it's hideous, it's weird looking!

_Just transform for a little bit, and you can feel like a girl again._

Yaten stops as she hears the thought. It's a tempting thought, to be able to feel herself like normal.

But, she's stronger than that. She can hold out a bit.

"I'm a girl." She says before turning off the lights and going into the shower. Maybe if she washes hard enough, the feeling of  _boy_  will go away.

* * *

"Where are you going?" Taiki asks Yaten as she opens the front door.

"Uh," Yaten glances back at her eldest sister, "the store?"

"Why are you dressed like that, then?" Yaten has her hair down, with a hat pulled over her hair. She's wearing Seiya's sunglasses and her hideous SOS shirt.

"Because I can!" She snaps, before leaving the room. She hears Taiki sigh from outside the door, but she shakes her head and leaves the house. No one is going to recognize her in this ugly outfit, she dresses nicely and this ugly shirt is not a nicely thing to wear. It's only something Seiya would find attractive, tsk.

Once she's outside, Yaten breathes in the fresh air, before heading her way.

It takes a while, but she arrives at a shopping mall. Once inside, she pulls the hideous shirt down some more and looks around until she finds a little shop dedicated to teenage girls. She quickly finds her way inside.

 _We haven't been in this kind of store in so long._  The thought rings through her head. It's true, she hasn't been able to stop like this since she arrived on this stupid planet.

Yaten shakes all her negative thoughts away, grabs a hand basket and begins looking through the racks of clothing. Twenty minutes later, and her basket is filled with shirts, shorts, and skirts.  _Success!_

Yaten turns to go to the cashier, but stops when she sees the bra and underwear section of the store. She feels knots form in her stomach, and her throat seems to swell up. She closes her eyes and casually walks over to the bras.

_We really haven't done this in a long time._

She slowly walks past the bras, touching them all as she goes, before she stops and finds some in her size. A small smile grows on her face as she looks at the bras, colors ranging from red to yellow to blue and all colors in between. Yaten takes hold of some light blue ones, putting them in her basket, and turns to grab some matching underwear.

Twenty minutes later, and she's inside her shared home, holding the bag full of clothing with one hand. Thankfully, no one recognized her, and Yaten silently thanks the God who made sure nothing happened.

Yaten sits down on a seat in the living room and begins looking through her clothes, not noticing her sisters watching her from the kitchen with a look of pity and understanding on their faces.

"I'm a girl." She says to herself, but she doesn't seem sure of herself at all. At least, she'll be able to dress like a girl again, even if she doesn't look the part.

* * *

"Am I a girl?"

Taiki glances up from her book, looking at her older sister who is standing in front of her. Yaten is wearing a light blue dress and some high heels. The dress hangs loose because Yaten lacks the curves the dress is supposed to hug.

"Yes, you are." She replies after a moment.

"Are you sure?" Yaten's voice wavers, she sounds unsure of Taiki's answer.

"I'm positive." Taiki says. She looks down at her book before closing it, and slowly asks, "Why are you wearing that?"

"I'm wearing it because I'm a girl. Girls wear dresses," Her voice cracks, and tears begin to form in her eyes. "Even if they don't look like girls, girls wear dresses."

"Yaten…" Taiki stands up, and wraps her arms around her older sister. Yaten laid her head on Taiki's shoulder as she cried. "Shh."

"I don't feel like a girl." Yaten sobs, shaking as she holds onto Taiki. Her body and mind are at ends with each other, her gender and current body don't match and it  _hurts_.

* * *

The first time Yaten sees a phage on Earth, she's not sure how she feels. All she knows is that she has to transform.

" _Healer Star Power, Make Up!"_

Yaten stares down at her body, her  _female_ body. She holds back the tears that are forming in her eyes, and shakes her head. She can cry in joy all she wants once the phage is dead.

" _Star Sensitive Inferno!_ " She shouts, keeping her eyes on the phage. Seconds later, her sisters jump down next to her and the battle begins.

" _Star Gentle Uterus!_ "

" _Star Serious Laser!_ "

* * *

"Is it okay if I stay in this form sometimes?"

The phage is dead, and it's just the three Starlights.

"I don't see why not." Taiki says after a moment, a small smile gracing her lips.

"If that's what you need to do to feel like a girl, do it." Seiya nods and wraps an arm around her older sister's shoulders. "You can even wear those new pretty bras you bought."

Yaten looks at her sisters, a shocked look on her face before she begins to laugh. She covers her mouth with her hand as the laugh gets louder. Within seconds, the other two girls are laughing with her.

"I'm a girl!" Yaten laughs, tears rolling down her face, "I'm a girl!"

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please let me know what you think! If there is something I did wrong, or I could improve on, just leave me a comment!


End file.
